On Being a Better Human, Being Grateful

One of Bear's last photos... always the ham.

It's been a year since Bear died.

I miss the old guy. He would have liked this new place, even the snow. He would have liked the new people, the balcony, the new home surrounded by lots of places to romp.

I look at my life, the changes that took place over the last year, and mind. blown. I can't even begin to describe how different my life is now. If I could tell myself a year ago what it would be like, I don't think I would have believed it. There's a lot of great. The new and fabulous friends. The realization that I'm tougher than I thought I was. Or that I'm much more of an extrovert than I care to admit. The brilliant sunsets and drenching rainstorms. The wine bar I frequent on Mondays.

Read more...

On Dreams, Pups, and Bread: Con Pane Bakery

I wrote this post 6 months ago with the intention of publishing it then, but life, school, and a new computer got in the way. Clearly, I'm not writing much currently. At times, there wasn't much to say, and most times, there was no time to say anything. My story has changed so much in the latter half of 2013. Here's how it started...

Five weeks and counting. The committee usually meets weekly on Wednesdays. Online forums were filling up with information about acceptances and they were coming in like clockwork. It was Thursday morning and I'd just arrived home from class. Bear woke up from his nap and I let him outside to do his thing.

Resist the urge to check. Resist the urge to check. Don't call the admissions office. Don't be that kid.

Read more...

On Goodbyes and the Best Dog Ever

I love to tell the story of Bear's first poop in San Diego. At least, it was his first poop under my sole supervision. I'd never had a dog growing up, so I hardly knew the first thing about taking care of one. Due to construction at work, I had a month off to acquaint myself with my new role: dog owner.

By the way, they own us. Yeah, that was lesson #1.

Lesson #2 was picking up poop. No matter how cute a pup is; it poops. It poops a lot. They'll have a schedule, but they'll still poop. And if you're a good human being, you'll pick up the damn poop. Yes, pick it up. No, not with your bare hands! Just use the bag as a glove and bring paper towels as backup. Or figure out what works best for you.

What? That's not enough? You'll still get poop on your hands? Hey, we all touch poop at some point in our lives. Pets, children, and/or incontinence will afflict most of us at some point.

Read more...

Monterey, Hwy 1, Nepenthe: On Silver Linings and Space Shuttles

If things had worked out as I'd hoped, life would be very different right now. Perhaps it's me getting older, but I learned to see the silver linings in life. One more year in my beautiful home state and time to do things like drive from San Luis Obispo (more accurately, Cayucos) to Monterey via Highway 1. Lots of winding roads and spectacular vistas that can't be beat.

Read more...

Cake: On Birthdays and Dreams Deferred

I'm trying to do homework.

I know, it's the 4th of July, right? And clearly, if I'm posting, I'm not getting much done. My heart hasn't been in much lately, just because I've been hoping for news that my life would change drastically.

The silence has been deafening.

Read more...

The Glass is Cold: On Life, Movement, and Limbo

(top, left to right) Diane and Todd of White on Rice Couple with Joy of Joy the Baker; Dianne Jacob; Khao man gai from Nong's in Portland, OR; (middle, left to right) Coava Coffee Roasters in Portland, OR; pomegranate seeds at Mercado Hidalgo in Tijuana, Mexico; lengua (tongue) and tripe tacos from Tacos El Guero in Tijuana, Mexico; (bottom, left to right) Minassian-Young Vineyards, Paso Robles, CA; Jenks Lake, near Angelus Oaks, CA, site of Camp Blogaway; Fentons Creamery, Vacaville, CA branch

Imagine me with my face pressed against a frosted glass window, trying my damnedest to see what's on the other side. That's what life has felt like in the past couple of months. 6 trips in 9 weeks, with all of them fun and enlightening. Exhausting, too, especially for an introvert who loves people, loves to travel, but really needs time to dial down and recharge.

My last post was written on a lazy Sunday afternoon and it feels like I haven't had a chance to sit down since. The following week, I drove up to visit Todd and Diane at a lovely event featuring Joy the Baker, Cristina Ferrare, and lots of Kitchen Aid products, I had a fantastic time hanging out with everyone. While I was there, a rejection letter popped up on my email. Damn smartphones.

The weighty thought hit me... maybe I have a snowball's chance in hell of getting into medical school.

Read more...

On Sunsets and Old Pups

He reached the end of the leash, the tug on the collar reminding him that six feet was as far as he could go from us. A younger Bear would not have stood for it, straining wildly while one of us hung on tight, the leash wrapped tightly around our hand and wrist. Old Bear, however, accepted the restraint with equanimity. He stood where the leash stopped him and happily barked at the seagulls and sandpipers, looking very pleased with himself when they flew away. We started to trot up and down the beach with him, fully aware that too much running would mean a limping dog later in the evening.

Read more...

Mikey's Peanut Butter Pie: Celebrating Those We Love

I've never met Mike Perillo, but I do know that we share a love of peanut butter desserts. I find myself at a loss for words, because I can't tell the story of a man I didn't know nor discuss what his family is going through. I'll leave it to Shauna, who knew them, and her beautiful post on love and life cut too short. I was at Big Summer Potluck with Mike's wife, Jennie, but I didn't have the opportunity to say hello. So all I can offer are big, big 8-second hugs and my thoughts and best wishes to her and her daughters.

Read more...